Sandagonal (Adj): How a sandwich should always be cut

There's a small deli by my work that I started going to for lunch.  It's around the corner and not too pricey compared to the froufrou-sheshe restaurants in the neighbourhood.

The first time I went there I was greeted by a friendly Asian woman behind the counter.  As soon as the words "How can I help you?" escaped her lips, I felt uneasy.  She had one of those shrill voices that always ended on a high note.  It was almost as if she was deliberately trying to sound extra perky/Asian/feminine.  I don't know what it was, but it didn't sit well with me.

I rushed through my order so that I could keep our conversation short, but she kept asking me for details like "White or whole wheat" and "Balsamic or Italian" and with every new question she posed, I cringed more and more.  It took will-power not to respond in imitation.

But it was when she started making my lunch, a grilled cheese sandwich with a garden salad, that things changed.  All it took was the cut of a knife in a diagonal motion on my grilled cheese for me to dissolve all hatred towards this innocent woman.

Because anybody who has their head in the right place knows that a sandwich only tastes good when it's cut on the diagonal.  Or Sandagonal, as I like to Ingafy it.

Suddenly,  she was my favourite lunch lady in the world and I've been going there ever since for my yummy and affordable lunches.

It was a sandwish come true.

Catching Fire (noun): Film with a lot of perks

This week it has been all about the Hunger Games.  I went to the Canadian premiere for Catching Fire (and my first premiere ever) on Tuesday and the marketing team spared no expense to make it a memorable night.  Outside of the Scotiabank Theatre a tent and hot chocolate station was set up on the street for fans who had been there since 5 am.

5 IN THE FRIGGIN' MORNING.

That's all I'm going to say about that.  Inside, the stairs leading up to the second floor was guarded by Capitol guards.  On a normal day I try to avoid taking those stairs (have you seen them - how has no one fallen yet?!) and had less of a desire to do it with ominous figures staring at me on my way up.  But it did make for a cool shot from the escalator.

At the top of the stairs, two drummers dressed like the ones in the movie during the chariot scene stood in front of a huge CF poster, while pounding on huge drums.  I knew one of them from the comedy world but decided against waving at him as to not throw him off his serious beat.

Before the movie started, the actors who play Joanna and Finnick came out to greet the audience.  I'm glad to report that Finnick is not short in person.  I won't get into the details of the movie, but needless to say that it was a great sequel with lots of action, emotion, and special effects.  And Effie's outfits - OMG - I wanted all of them, even the big fluffy lilac dress that hit people in the face as she walked by.

But the PERKS!  That's what it's all about.

Thanks to some awesome work connections, I was given some Hunger Games inspired product including...

A box of 12 Wild Ophelia chocolates, each inspired by one of the 12 Districts.  Infused flavours include Sea Salt & Coconut (District 4- Fishing), Beef Jerky & Smoked Mesquite (District 10- Livestock), and Mined Salt (District 12 - Mining).  Yummmm.

And Covergirl make-up inspired by the many interesting looks in the Capitol.  While I was tempted to grab a gold eyeliner a la Cinna, I decided for more toned down colours.

So basically, I'm going to get fat but have a really dolled up face by the end of the week.  Yay me!

May the odds be ever in your favor to catch the movie this weekend!  Good luck fighting for seats with hardcore teen fans.

Ford (Noun): Every cats nightmare

Lewd comment made by Mayor Rob Ford

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Quick online search for "Room full of cats"

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Hasty search for "Rob Ford standing"

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Photoshop

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A way to explain to your kids what he meant...

I claim no ownership over any of the pics I found online to create this.  But I do pat myself on the back for coming up with the idea.

Panono (noun): Throwable, Panoramic Ball Cam

AND I WANT IT!

Niagara Falls (noun): First big gig

I don't want to make it a big deal or anything... but I'm in a band.

A ukulele band.

Yeah, that's right, it's pretty hardcore.  And to make it even more bad ass, our ukuleles looks like fruit (pineapple, kiwi, and watermelon to be exact) and we call ourselves The Fruity Ukuladies.

It doesn't get more hardcore than that.

Over the last couple of years, we've been putting up videos on YouTube, and slowly growing a fan base which we never expected to happen, considering how "serious" we took ourselves.  We even managed to land a few local gigs through our YouTube channel for weddings and bridal showers which was even more unexpected.  So imagine our greater surprise when Long & McQuade, Canada's largest chain of musical instrument retailers (and not-so-coincidentally, the store we all bought our ukes) got in touch with us to perform at an event they were hosting in Niagara Falls.

Ummm, yeah!

So on Friday, the Ukuladies (minus Watermelon Ukulady, sadly- for us- because she's currently in England for work) and my hubbie aka our roadie for the evening, took a bus down to the Falls.  We were performing and staying (thanks L&M!) at the Marriott Fallsview Hotel.  The event took place in one of the presidential suites and we were set up on the second floor loft looking over the main room.  It was a really cool set-up and made us feel a bit less nervous about being the center of attention.  And the view was amazing!

We performed a lot of songs we've covered on our Channel, like 8 Days A Week, Fat Bottomed Girls, and Single Ladies.

Yes, it is possible to make a Beyonce song sound pretty decent on the ukulele :)

Between and after our sets, we had a chance to meet some of the music teachers and enjoy the free wine and cheese.  We even managed to hand out a few business cards which we made in a hurry earlier that day (and a big thank you to the woman at Staples who made them for free!!).

While talking to some of the organizers, we found out that the reason they heard of us was because one of the sons of Mr. Long (of Long & McQuade) was a fan and wanted us to perform.  That was pretty much the icing on the cake for us and our heads were a little bit bigger after that.  See - we even did a pretentious shot of us looking over the Falls.

And I learned two things that night:
1. The Marriott's new state-of-the-art elevator system SUCKS.  Ask me why and I'll tell you.
2. TGI Fridays doesn't have specials on Fridays.

Halloween 2013 (noun): A year of overestimating my abilities to sew

Happy Halloween gals and ghouls!

It's a rainy day in Toronto, le boo, but the spirit is alive and strong.  This year, I decided to bring out my new-ish sewing machine and sew my costume.  I use to sew a lot in high school with the help of my mom and grandmother, both experts in the craft.  But that was over *cough* 10 years ago, and suffice to say, I had definitely misgauged my abilities to pick it up again after so long.

My goal: to sew from scratch the dress that Sally wore in The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Rag doll type dress - how hard could it be?

Riiiiight.

Without a pattern, I decided to make my own with some used brown wrapping paper (thanks to a local fabric store on St.Clair).  I used a simple dress as my outline and then drew in the different cuts of her dress. My thought process - I just had to cut out the different pieces twice, sew each side and then connect the front and back together.  Easy peasy.

But I forgot to keep two things in mind: (1) I have boobs (2) I was using a stretchy cotton dress as my guideline and my fabric was non-stretchy cotton.  Thank goodness for buying extra fabric and extra pair of hands (my husband) to help me figure out what I needed to fill the wide gap that revealed my tush.

Once the sewing was complete the rest was pretty easy.  I used black yarn to hand sew big stitches where the different fabrics met and I drew in the pattern using a permanent marker.

Finding a long red wig proved to be a bit of a challenge so I ended up getting a long white wig and a can of red hairspray.  One can turned into 3 cans to cover the whole damn wig.

The end result - a pretty sweet Sally costume made with love, tears, and a few f-words.

Unagi Travel (noun): Travel agency for your teddy bear

When I was a kid, my whole family went on a two month trip through Europe in the summer (both of my parents  were teachers at the time).  And by my side always was Patchy, my brown yarn haired, dimple faced Cabbage Patch kid.  Patchy slept in hotels in Paris, ate on a train dining car en route to Germany, and walked (aka dragged along) the streets of Prague.  The doll was well traveled compared to most living beings.

Fast forward to present day.  While cleaning out our guest room closet, I found Patchy stuffed in a cloth bag, still wearing the dress my mom bought her from that trip.  To think of all the places this doll had been, only to end up in the back of an Ikea wardrobe.  While I've had many adventures of my own since that family trip, it made me a little sad that Patchy's adventures had ended as soon as I hit puberty.  Don't get me wrong - I'm glad that was the case, otherwise I'd be that weird woman who carried a Cabbage Patch doll with her everywhere.  That would have been particularly awkward on my honeymoon 3 years ago.

BUT - there's still hope for my childhood companion, thanks to Unagi Travel - a one of kind travel agency that lets stuffed toys travel the world on behalf of their owners.  Weird and unusual, yes, but also a really cute idea!  The agency will send you pics and updates of your dolls travels and at the end of it all, you are returned your doll, more worldly and relaxed than before.

Looks like I'm going to have to update Patchy's passport :)